And I'm back in the study with my notes spread in front of me. Try as I might, I cannot bring myself to concentrate. The clock is ticking and time is fast running out yet I feel frozen, unable to do more than a mere few minutes at a time before giving up and watching an episode of Saiyuki or picking up a book. I have three exams and my two coursework calls at me. This is definitely not a good sign. One hopes that I'll get my act together soon for my time is almost up and judgement day will be here at any minute.
Nevertheless, I sit in the study, read and daydream. Dream about the man who will steal my heart and leave me with no regrets. I have yet to find someone that perfect. In truth, I'm starting to doubt the existence of such fairy tales. Perhaps it is true what I've been denying all along: good things never last. Although, once all is said and done, at the end of the day, I will still give it the benefit of the doubt. Silly aren't I? But then again, what is life if one doesn't believe in a little magic.
Lately, I've been involuntarily reminiscing about the past. Suppressed memories is what psychologists call it. None of them pleasant enough for me to enjoy remembering. *sigh* If I cannot suppress them further, I only hope that being replayed in my mind allows me to forget them forever. Unfortunately for me, I just might not have that "selective goldfish memory" that T keeps referring to. If I do, it has some rather nasty side-effects. *shrugs* Such is life I suppose. You take some, you give some. Wouldn't it be nice, just for once, to have everything as you like it? Alas, nothing is ever enough - such is human nature...
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