My holiday is over... :(

And I'm back in the study with my notes spread in front of me. Try as I might, I cannot bring myself to concentrate. The clock is ticking and time is fast running out yet I feel frozen, unable to do more than a mere few minutes at a time before giving up and watching an episode of Saiyuki or picking up a book. I have three exams and my two coursework calls at me. This is definitely not a good sign. One hopes that I'll get my act together soon for my time is almost up and judgement day will be here at any minute.

Nevertheless, I sit in the study, read and daydream. Dream about the man who will steal my heart and leave me with no regrets. I have yet to find someone that perfect. In truth, I'm starting to doubt the existence of such fairy tales. Perhaps it is true what I've been denying all along: good things never last. Although, once all is said and done, at the end of the day, I will still give it the benefit of the doubt. Silly aren't I? But then again, what is life if one doesn't believe in a little magic.

Lately, I've been involuntarily reminiscing about the past. Suppressed memories is what psychologists call it. None of them pleasant enough for me to enjoy remembering. *sigh* If I cannot suppress them further, I only hope that being replayed in my mind allows me to forget them forever. Unfortunately for me, I just might not have that "selective goldfish memory" that T keeps referring to. If I do, it has some rather nasty side-effects. *shrugs* Such is life I suppose. You take some, you give some. Wouldn't it be nice, just for once, to have everything as you like it? Alas, nothing is ever enough - such is human nature...

All I ask is that you show a little consideration. Is that too much to ask? If so then perhaps I am not the one you are looking for. After all, if you cannot understand that love alone is not enough, then perhaps moving on would be best. I need actions to go with the words and I cannot abide cowards.

Would you drop everything and come to me? I cannot do so for I cannot change who I am in spite of all that we are...

To all those who I've been negligent in keeping in contact with

Yes, including those in Cardiff itself. I'm sorry! I really am but I've just been so busy. It's not an excuse! I promise!!! Even my mother is getting on my case about my lack of contact - that's how serious it is. Time is flying faster this semester than I can manage and for some reason, I just get so wrapped up in it that I seem to forget about everything else that I'm not physically reminded of. At the moment, the thing that's stressing me most is my AIS project. It's boring! Immensely so. That's one problem. The second problem is that it's really really tough! There's so much about it that I don't understand. Ugh. Not happy. Why did I ever pick this module? I gave up Information Systems ages ago! Someone help me! I wanna quit. Can I quit now? Oh come on!

Ok, enough of that. There's also all the exams that are sneaking up on me. I've been revising slowly but I don't seem to have the time, or rather, I'm going about it far too slowly. It's taken me days and I'm still on the same topic of ONE module. I'm DOOMED! The sky is falling down on me!

Right, moving on. I've given up on relationships. There's been so much going on in my life between job applications, exam preparations, general academic stuff and other unknowns that I don't even have time to breathe never mind spend time with someone else. Goddess, I'm tired but it's ok cause... I'm flying home soon. Yay! We're even flying to Japan for a short holiday cause mom has to do a conference. Hokkaido! I can't wait. Hopefully, Aya will be able to meet up with us. I haven't seen her in a very long time and I miss her immensely.